Utahns rock!

If anybody still checks up on us, i figured its about time to update the blog (you know, only about a year and a half late). Latest Sorensen adventures include moving back to Utah, jason getting his dream job, and kiddos getting way too big! So, we were in Henderson, nv when i last wrote. Its pretty rough keeping a blog when you post evrything on facebook already. Who wants to read things twice? Anyways, when jason and i got married, i begged him to let us move back to manti and he said five years. Well, he lied and drug it out for 7 1/2 instead but we are back and loving every minute of it! The kids get to see their grandma and grandpa on an almost daily basis (which is probably wearing on my in laws). Of course it isnt without sacrifice... jason works a week on and a week off in page, arizona. But the good news is, he got his dream job of being an EMS pilot! He loves it so much! He says he feels like he is actually flying with a purpose now and contributing to saving lives, which he is so its fantastic! I am extremely proud of him and all his hard work of getting here! As for me, i have been struggling with being a mostly stay at home mom. Sometimes i just need to break away from the kids, so ive been substitute teaching for the school district in hopes of getting an aide position in the special needs department in ephraim elementary. I have subbed mostly high schoolers (weird but my favorite so far) and in thr reading room as a tutor in the manti elementary. Also a few other classes like the special needs and the kindergarten and first grade. The things ive learned can be summed up as... i do not want to be a teacher and i do not like younger grades. They are a lot.of stress and energy. I much orefer the older kids who can be made aware that their actions affect their grades and im not responsible for them screwing up, whereas i am for thr yiung kids who need constant instruction to get through the day. But i really have enjoyed subbing and hope to continue it in the fall!i also really really love the special needs class! The kids are adorable and fun to hang out with and ive always held a special place in my heart for them! Moving on... the kids are growing like weeds! Ashton just finished first grade! He is such a smart kid and has a great personality. He gets in trouble with his sidekick kingston but can also be such a sweetheart and amazing helper with his little brother and sister! Kingston has troubke written all over his cute face. He can test my patience to the very end and keep going and then turn around and flash those blue eyes and say "i love you mommy" and i cave all over again. Looking back on past posts, it seems he has always headed that direction so it doesnt surprise me. He will start preschool this fall and is very excited! And then theres my little girl... they say moms and daughters have a special bond and ive been skeptical, i admit, but that girl melts my heart. Thats not to say i dont love my boys but its definitely a differnt bond that me and finley share and i adore her! She will be two next month and is a little ball of sass and cuteness all rolled into one. Where is life taking us? Hopefully we will buy house here someday and stay for good but the life of a pilot takes you many places so who can be sure. We take it one day at a time and pray for the best. Speaking of the life of a pilot, jason recently lost a good friend of his to a helicopter incident and it has really shken me. He left behind a wife and i cannot imagine how she is handling it. I worry so much for his safety and am constantly reminded that life is so fragile. You can be an amazing pilot and one bad maintenance check, one bad weather day, a bad judgement call, or a frwak accident and its over in the blink of an eye! Its terrifying and i try and remember to hold him real tight when he is home and pray real hard when he is gone. Thats us right now though... living the life and trying not to go crazy! Lol

It's been almost a year since I last posted. Wow that's sad. A lot has gone on since then and it's been a bit of a ride, but it's been good. We added our beautiful baby girl Finley Ann to our family on June 20th 2012. She has been a joy. She has definitely been a lot harder than the boys and has confirmed my feelings on being done having kids, but she is perfect in so many ways. I love love love having a little girl! My life is so complete right now. We are living together as a family after spending 7 months of seeing each other when we could ever couple weeks or what not. It's amazing being whole again. My life is incredibly blessed. I have an amazing, hard working husband who gives me more love than I deserve. I have 3 beautiful children that put a giant smile on my face each day and that give me a reason to wake up in the morning. it's just perfect right now. Henderson is great too. It isn't without complaint of course, because nothing in my life is, but we are making it home for at least another year and we are fine with that decision. It's very very hot right now since we are in August, but I'm excited for the winter and the chilly but not freezing cold weather. That's one thing I will not miss about Utah- the nasty snow and cold winters. There is also a lot to do here. There are two swimming pools at our apartment complex, countless stores and malls, the Las Vegas strip, a chocolate factory and cactus gardens, Lake Mead close by, and tons of recreation centers with activities like crazy. We have Ashton all set up to go to kindergarten starting August 27th. He is also signed up for a youth soccer league that starts in a couple weeks. And, he's got a loose tooth that he is excited about. Kingston is growing up so much. He talks your ear off if he is warmed up to you, he is a little fish in the pool, he adores his big brother and baby sister, and his bright blue eyes and big smile melt my heart every single day. He will always be my little baby even though I have Finley. Speaking of, she is growing fast. She is a little chubs. She has to be fast approaching 15 pounds I bet and she is only 8 weeks old! She has rolls all over the place and we joke that she will need a training bra before she hits a year old lol. She has the darkest eyes and eyebrows of all the kids and such a serious but cute look about her that it's hard not to stare at her all day long. We buzzed her hair so it will grow evenly, but it isn't. It's growing back a lot faster on top but it will be okay I think. She will have dark brown hair from what I can tell and I'm hoping it will be curly because I always wanted one of the kids to have curly hair and the boys definitely do not. She will be a little heartbreaker when she gets bigger and I love her to death. Jason is great!!! He is flying Grand Canyon tours for a company called Papillon Helicopters. He works about 8 hours a day and does 3-4 flights a day. He gets paid pretty good and gets good tip money and I think he really likes it, despite the intense heat and the repetitiveness of his days. he definitely doesn't complain like he did with flight instructing. I couldn't be more proud of all that he has accomplished! He is the definition of amazing! me, I'm just hanging out at home with the kids. I feel restless a lot and need to maybe start looking for a part time job to get me out of the house and give me some adult interaction. I also need to hit up a gym or the fitness center of our complex because baby number 3 was not kind to my body and I had it pretty fine-tuned before I got pregnant so it's a little depressing. But, my mood is great, I take the kids to church every sunday while Jay works and I feel extremely grateful for everything I have right now. I want for nothing and it's great to be able to say that. As I always say, I will try to keep this more updated but you may not hear from me for another year so don't hold your breath lol. :)

Ha Ha

Alright bloggers who still follow me... I am a new person today! I read back on my posts and am pretty embarrassed at how lame I am for complaining so much. So, I am not doing it anymore. Life is actually pretty good right now. Ashton started preschool and is loving every minute of it. After getting over the initial shock of my baby growing up, I am also loving it. It is so nice to only have one kid to worry about for 3 hours of my day! I also love that he comes home so exhausted that he wants to sleep, so I get a few hours to myself while him and Kingston take their naps! It's not everyday, but it's enough to make me happy! We have been sick a lot but are surviving. I am still wanting another kid so hopefully that happens soon. I'm hoping to be pregnant by March so about 6 months left :) Jason and I haven't had a lot of alone time and the stress wears on us but we are trying to plan a trip away soon so we can have some good quality time that doesn't involve kids. Jay's brother Adam is on a mission in Uruguay and loves it! It's really weird having him gone and time is going by slow. We really miss him. School also started for Jay and I. Still just doing online classes but they are very time consuming and I'm a little worried that this may be the hardest semester yet! But, we will get through it, as we always do. I love this new found faith of mine. I know that no matter what happens and how hard life is, we always make it through and I know it's because of our Heavenly Father and our faith in Him and in the church. As my mom always says, pay tithing and live life the way we are supposed to, and the blessings will fall into place. It's so true and, although I complain a ton, I know that I am truly blessed in my life and I love that!!!

Hey everyone! So, since i've blogged last and had my pity party, life hasn't necessarily gotten easier or less stressful, but I'm in a good mood today! I deleted my facebook in hopes of destressing my life. But, i've noticed this last month has,been one of the most stressful of all. I didn't tell anyone, but I was pregnant! Unfortunately, all my stress probably was what caused me to miscarry just this week! I'm in a super deep funk about it all. I've been through it before and figured I could handle it ok but I'm not ok. Jay has made the comment of me being in a zombie-like state over it. I will bw fine and I'm not on here to whine... Just figured without facebook I should keep people updated on my current stuff. On happier notes, I'm really excited for ashton because he starts preschool in less than a month! Once we got the shots out of the way, he is very excited and I love to see his face light up every time he talks about it! The only thing that gives me a good attitude these days is my boys! They just light me upand make me rise out of my funk. I also recently visited my family in nevada and that was really good for me to get away and not have to think about anything for a few days! They have a frightening addition to their home though! They have about 8 or 9 rattle snakes in their house in two cages. You touch the cage and they all start rattling and it is so scary! I am deathly afraid of snakes so I has tons of anxiety just being in their house but I got over it and survived sleeping there. I love going back to my roots and being on a farm again! I sometimes miss the simplicity of being in the middle of nowhere without a care and smelling the hay around you and being super dusty the whole time... It's something that really comforts me!!! Anyways, I'm running out of things to say but I will try to keep this updated more. Oh, and we moved apartments too!!! I love not living in a disgusting apartment with trashy neighbors! Sooooo much! The end. :)

Rough life...

I apologize ahead of time. This is a total pity party for me, but I need to clear my head, so don't read if you don't want to (honestly it's not recommended).

You know, I thought a couple years ago that life couldn't get worse (financial issues, kid issues, all that jazz). I was sorely mistaken. I can honestly say I'm about 95% sure I have depression. I've had it before but this is different. I feel numb lately. I don't feel like doing anything, I feel like complaining about anything I can, I don't have energy to even talk to my husband or kids. I've definitely hit a rut. And, for me (being a bottler), I find it strange that I've cried more in the last month than I have in years. I just feel like there is nothing that can go right. Jason's work has been soooo slow lately that we can't pay our bills. My job for sure won't cut it alone. Financial issues are bad, but I think my other issues are worse and I guess what you could call the lighter fluid to my fire. I've never in the last month felt more alone. Even in a room full of people, I feel like I'm nobody. I go out with friends and feel sectioned off, like a "3rd wheel" so to speak. It's like I try so hard to fit in and I am socially awkward. I've never felt that before. Sure there are things that I smile about and that are fairly entertaining, but I find myself being fake with happiness lately. I can honestly say that I want nothing more than to move right now. I want Jason to get a job far away so I can have a clean slate and not feel this way anymore. Usually, I am the one against changing life. I love my family and my friends and my job, but nothing is cutting it anymore. I'm done with this rut in our life and READY to move on. Thanks for listening to my venting. I feel better (not).

Yes, this is the smile of a little "stinker". He tends to look so innocent and that face could melt your heart. However, this little guy is a wild one. He is constantly hitting kids, getting into cords and outlets, and pulling my hair. But, I can't resist when he turns on that charm with those big blue eyes and huge open mouth smile! I love that boy to death!!! He is starting to run... his little legs just go as fast as they can the second he gets the opportunity to bolt. It's adorable. And, although, he is skinny as ever, he is the biggest eater you've ever seen. Yes, there is one bigger than Ashton (he's always been our little pig). Kingston will eat us out of house and home for sure! He is just growing so fast and making me want another one soooooo much more! I can't even describe to you how badly I want a baby! I'm dying to feel those little kicks in my belly, hear the sound of a heartbeat on a little monitor at a monthly checkup, anticipate the outcome of a gender ultrasound, anxiously await the feeling of a first labor contraction, be hooked up to monitors and waited on hand and foot, push with all my might til I hear that tiny little cry, and hold a precious little angel in my arms knowing that there is no greater moment in the entire world and that just for those first few seconds, the world stands still. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than having a baby. Despite all the pain and discomfort throughout pregnancy, it is all so worth it to see this little life you have created. And, no matter how much money you know you are going into debt and how stressful and tiring your life is going to be, you know that it will all be peaceful when you see that cute smile form on the lips of your child! Can you tell how badly I need a baby???
And, then they grow up and need things. Like 8 caps on their teeth at 4 years old. Yeah, Ashton has the worst teeth in the world! I brush, floss, keep sweets away and he still ends up with cavities like no other! Last year, he had 6 cavities filled. Then we went back for a checkup and they said one was forming but it should be okay. Well, 6 months later, he needs 8 caps put on. He is doing great but is a little upset that his teeth are silver. He at first wanted them to go away, but is slowly accepting them. Him and daddy call them special teeth that have "bullets" on them. I love the way Jason is with the kids. To see him and Ashton play puts the biggest smile on my face. He is Ashton's "boss" and Ashton is "captain". Can you believe they have "pet names" for each other. Lol~ I love it and I love them!

lately...

I should probably keep this updated...

There isn't a lot going on in our lives per say but we are crazy busy all the time! Jason got some more students and is working more now, so that is really great! This will get him closer to his 1,000 hours and a new, steady job! Unfortunately, it also gets us closer to indefinitely moving away and that I cannot even think about right now!!! I took team lead and am working till 2 everyday now, which has been okay for me but hard on the boys. It is right in the middle of naptime for Kingston and he refuses, for the most part, to take a nap at the gym! Occasionally one of the girls can get him to fall asleep but even then he wakes up about 45 minutes later. He also had croup this past week, which meant not working hardly at all! The biggest thing about my new schedule is... I work til 2 come home and put kingston down for a nap and then get ashton and myself some lunch. By the time all this is accomplished, I have to get dressed for working out at 4 and get home at 6, to make dinner and do a little cleaning, put the boys to bed, and try to settle in for homework. The only problem is after all that running around, I sit and basically wanna just pass out. I try to read my homework and end up falling asleep. School is definitely taking the biggest hit out of all the things in my life right now. And, to make it worse, I have 4 classes that are fairly difficult( for me at least). I am taking Math 1010 (you all know how terrible I am at Math), Political Science (i'm not even registered to vote and could care less about politics, so you can imagine how that class is going), Sociology (this involves a ton of reading, which I struggle with staying awake on), and Psychology (this is one I could enjoy if it wasn't on the backburner- it doesn't have more than 2 deadlines the whole semester, so i literally have not even looked at the book yet!). I'm extremely bummed about school lately. I was so glad I made it through last semester and I was looking forward to another challenging, but easy enough for me semester. Unfortunately, i just took on too much. My timing with team lead, 4 classes, and my LOVE of zumba is just very off! Jason says I need to sacrifice my workouts for school, but in reality, I can't do homework when the kids are awake anyways, so what is the point? Plus, I feel like an entirely different person when i workout! I feel healthy, less stressed, and have a clearer head than the days I miss workouts! I CANNOT sacrifice or I'll go insane!!!

Now that I've rambled away, I must say that I love my life. I really do! I am a complainer at heart but I love my kids, I love my husband and how much he does for me, I love my job, I love my friends, and I love the opportunities I am given in this life!